I Can’t Do It. I Can’t.

James Corden Would Rather Not Talk About That Balthazar Omelet [UPDATED]

Okay, I can’t help but laugh at myself for having even thought it. The thing is, I’m a pretty low-key, no-mainstream person. That includes the low-key, no-mainstream people I work with. Even the guys who are more mainstream in the culture usually keep quiet, at least in public. They can’t be accused of slumming a little because they have their own thing going on.

But then there are the ones who are a little more high-mainstream. I’m not talking about the super-rich and famous here, just the ones who are not well enough known to get the kind of invitations to events that make them feel more high-mainstream than the other low-mainstream people. That’s just me. Maybe in my next life I’ll be one of them.

Anyway, one of the things the mainstream prefers to keep secret is my love affair with The Great British Bake Off. It’s the only time the media will ever get an exclusive interview with me on the show, and I’m pretty sure it’s the only time I’ll ever have one. (Although I’m also pretty sure I’ll get an exclusive interview from the BBC one day – you never know what could happen.) I didn’t tell anyone about it, because I knew I was more than a little guilty of not keeping quiet. Nowhere was that more obvious than when I watched last night’s episode.

They wanted me to sing on the show, and I just couldn’t. I couldn’t do it. Not even half. I didn’t even try. I was so nervous that I could barely remember a single word of it.

This isn’t meant to be a

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