Tiny Love Stories: ‘Why Aren’t You Married?’
“But there is a problem with the answer,” she said. “It’s not a real answer at all.”
“But I’m not married. I know I’m not married,” she said. “I’m not married. I’m not. I’m not married. It’s not a real answer. It’s a fake answer.”
She was talking about one of the most common questions I’ve been asked at the end of a workshop: “But why aren’t you married?” She was talking about one of those moments when I’ve realized that we’re out of the time-out-the-jaws-and-make-the-best-of-it-we-can phase and entering the big-time-is-a-dirty-word-and-we-have-to-talk-about-it phase.
We’ve started looking at the root of this common question, and I’ve realized that the answer is not always self-explanatory and is often based on the experience of the person asking the question. To find the root of the question, you must dig back deep to understand the way the question is being asked.
You’ll notice that I’m not making this into a typical workshop — there will be no role-playing and no sharing of stories about our own experiences with this question. And I’m not even explaining this much. What I’m doing now is giving you the very best, most practical, most honest way to answer the question and to move past the “Why aren’t you married?” moment to the “And what is it about your question that led you to ask it?” and the much deeper “Why is my answer not an answer at all?” moment right now.
You’re here because you have a lot to say about your life, and you want to share your life with others.
So let’s start